Do I Miss Working?

The one thing I miss about having a "real" job is that If I was running low on funds I could get a payday cash advance. It can be expensive sometimes but it was great having the option. Now I find that I have to be extremely careful about budgeting my money, which can be slightly difficult sometimes especially with two kids. I do miss getting out of the house and being with the friends I made at work sometimes too. Okay, there were quite a few things I miss but I don't miss the mandatory attendance. LOL!!

Significance

I always have a habit of looking at jewelry when we go out. Even if I can't afford it I can still dream for now. I love looking at all the glittering certified diamonds hoping that one day I can have at least one of them. It would be one of the happiest days in my life if I got one, not just because it would be a diamond but because it would be a sign that life is exactly where I'd want it to be. That would have more meaning to me than anything else. I hope that day comes soon.

Reunited!

I'm SO excited! Life is starting to come back together for me lately and I couldn't be happier. I talked to one of my best friends yesterday who is like my sister but we had a falling out a few years back. I think we both wanted to get back together but weren't sure how to go about it. I took the initiative and emailed her and it's almost like nothing happened. The sad part is that life has gone on and my kids are older and she got married. Oh well, at least we can try to pick up where we left off!

Thinning Out

I thought about trying some new fat burners if I might be seeing him anytime soon. I totally don't want to be all fat and flabby after all these years and him remembering me that way. I may not end up having the ideally "perfect" body in the end but that's because I'm older and I'm a mom. I wouldn't mind being a hot mom though. LOL! I do need to do something soon thought because my energy is just not where it should be and I miss being highly active (with the body to match).

Protect Yourself

I never really thought about it before but I had one of those debit cards that you could just pass over a scanner thing. I didn't even begin to think that someone could walk by me and scan for my number stealing my identity! I just saw this neat rfid blocking wallet that blocks the transmission of scanning and I'm definitely interested. I had NO thoughts about someone being able to do this and so many of the cards aren't suspected of containing chips. I know I had NO idea that so many of them do! There are also sleeves you can buy to put your cards and passports in, who knew those had chips in them either?! The whole thing is just scary but I know that I'm totally going to be buying these!

Age and Acne Don't Mix

I always thought that as you aged acne was less likely but I must be some kind of different. LOL It seems the older I get the acne wither comes on worse or stays the same. The problem I was having was finding a cream that would help with again and acne. It seemed like there wasn't anything to be found amongst all the wrinkle creams. I did find something though! It is a serum for both anti-aging and acne. I'm really bad at using things as directed because I forget to use it at all but so far it's been quite helpful!

Three More Weeks

I'm excited but nervous about DD going to preschool. I'm not sure how she's going to handle not being around me for more than five minutes and the session only lasts for about two months. I'm kind of thinking she'll either be crying for me or crying to go back before she can. LOL I still haven't been able to get her little stubborn behind potty trained and she doesn't talk very clearly so I have this anticipation of a lot of frustration going on. I know if she can get past it all she'll have a lot of fun and I can have at least an hour and a half of quiet time. Maybe even more if she takes a nap!

Snacking

I tend to snack more than I eat whole meals. The good part is that I'm not over stuffing myself all the time but the bad part is that my choices could usually be better. I've been eating more than usual with the stress and I'm considering an herbal appetite suppressant to help curb some of the cravings. I've also been chewing a lot of gum to try and stop myself from eating. I think I have at least 10 flavors of gum on my desk so I don't end up bored with just one. LOL! I've been wanting to move more too so there's another thing to try and squeeze into each day.

Cold Season

It's funny that we're still in summer and there are already advertisements for flu shots. DD got her first cold this year and passed it onto DH. You wouldn't know she was even sick if it wasn't for her runny nose, she just kept running all over as if nothing was wrong. Her dad on the other hand was moaning and complaining his way through it and all I could think is that it couldn't have been THAT bad if she seemed fine. LOL I'm really happy that she takes the best vitamins so that she's rarely sick enough to be down. The real test will be next month when she starts preschool.

Break Outs

With all the anticipated stress I have lately I'm breaking out like crazy. I'm not AS worried about what I look like especially since I hardly need to leave the house but it can be really painful. I know I can't totally prevent it from happening but getting rid of this acne as fast as possible sure does help. I'm trying all sorts of things to find the best acne medicine because I found that what I was using isn't enough anymore. I hope I find something quickly because every time I start to see clearing I end up with another flare up. Ouch!

Over It

I've finally come out of my "zone" of sorts and came back to reality. I don't know what it is or why I end up living in some weird world every time he comes back but I do. I'm totally fed up with going through the motions we do and with this one argument we had I just had it. It was over something totally dumb and I felt really stupid when it stopped. We haven't talked or worked it out and it's been about four days now. I just can't keep going like this no matter what's going on. Time to get back to where I was...happy.

Sit to Be Fit

My stepdad just went through his annual colon cleanse for his exam. I felt bad that he couldn't eat anything for a whole day and of course I think he over did it once he could eat again. I'm glad he's being checked on a regular basis though because it's not something everyone does. It's a good thing that there is a lot more awareness about keeping that part of your body healthy because it's not something everyone normally thinks about. I'm hopeful that we will see a high decline in colon illnesses soon.

Higher Learning

I wish I had more time on my hands. One of my friends is going back to school and I wish I could too but it's not looking likely until maybe next year. She's doing everything from home this time so she can try to stay at home with her kids. Online School is such a great option for so many people who don't have the time to sit in a class. You can start and stop as you need to and work at the same time. I can't wait until DD goes to school so I'll have some time to focus back on me again.

Too Young to Go

I'm so worried about my friend I almost can't stand it. I don't want to call because I think his girlfriend thinks I'm some sort of threat to her but I wish I knew how he was doing. He found me about a week ago and told me he's been battling stomach cancer and after about five years in remission it might be back. The worst part is that he has three kids and they just found out that there will be another one soon. I really hope he has some sort of insurance for them because it's not like he'll be old enough to get term life insurance when he goes. I have no idea what they told him about his life expectancy or anything like that and I'm sure he doesn't want to talk about it but I can't imagine this world without him and hope he pulls through!

Stupid Day

Today really just wasn't the right day for me to leave the house. Actually, it just hasn't been the best week for me either. I thought this month would be one of the best considering my birthday is in it and September is normally one of the better ones. I had the worst encounter with an employee of a store and I just about lost it. I don't think I've been tested like that in a really long time. We also found out that we're about to lose the house and the hopes of saving it are slim. Just that one alone might be enough but then I also found out that my best friend might be dying too! I'm not sure if it could get any worse but I pray to God that it doesn't!

Christmas in...the Middle of the Ocean

I'm so jealous, some of my family will be on a cruise this year for Christmas! I wish I could escape to warmer places like that. These people are always going on cruises and I think Royal Caribbean cruise line must know them well by now. LOL!! They've done everything from the really short cruises to the longer ones around the world. It's definitely a great way to see the world and a ton of fun for everyone with all the things packed onto those ships. I've never been on one but what I have seen makes it seem like this awesome mobile city. I can't wait until we have the money to go on a few too, that would be SO fun for the kids!

Back to School?

I'm thinking of starting to look for a real career but I'm not sure exactly in what yet. I can't really see myself doing one thing for the rest of my life and I've really liked the versatility it's given me being in different areas. I was looking through job listings to get an idea of what's in demand right now and it seems like health care might be the way to go for me. There were quite a few healthcare listings for things I might be interested in doing so it's a good possibility. There are so man different types of positions within the industry that I didn't even realize were there so it's not like I have to go through a whole ton of schooling again. I could do anything from billing to a nursing assistant and be fine. It's something to think about since working for myself doesn't help with insurance and retirement.

What a Mess!

I totally thought I had my computer and files under control until I started really working on it again. What a disaster! I have no idea where I put anything and it's driving me crazy because it's not like going through papers where you can just put them aside right away. By the time I open and close two I end up confused and forget what was what to begin with. They're all in the wrong folders for some reason and it's just maddening. I've thought about using a document management thing especially once I start doing even more because this is really just insane. I can't function like this at all!

Major Issues

I'm going through some of the worst most retarded drama right now. I can't believe that at the age I am that stuff like this still comes up in my life. I didn't even stop and think about the decision I was making when I did it and now it's all one big mess for me. Of course it involves someone else but there's no issue there, just for me. I wish I didn't feel sometimes but I'm starting to realize what I did and change how I'm going to handle the rest of it. It really sucks because I had so many hopes and dreams for the future and now it's totally gone. I had really believed in what I thought might happen...in a wierd way I guess it might have come true but not the way I wanted at all and it just plain sucks. I can't wait for this to go away.